Monday, April 13, 2015

I Am Not An Object

Hello, friends. I know I've been gone a while but now that I have internet of my own, it's time I address an issue that is plaguing this country and the world in general. And it is past time, I say something about it.

Back in 2012, the issue of women came up. Which personally shouldn't have been an issue to begin with. But the comments I started hearing from candidates made my blood boil. Which is also a reason I will never vote for this candidate on anything he runs for on the national stage. Rape became the big conversation and that conversation is still going on.

I should have addressed this a long time ago. While I have never been the victim of sexual assault, I have women I consider my sisters that have been. And it kills me that their attackers go on about their lives as if nothing happened while they continue to be traumatized.

I'm tired of reading stories of how the woman is blamed. I'm tired of being told that I have to be careful. I hate the fact that I have to keep looking over my shoulder when I'm by myself somewhere. I hate that when I'm alone that I have to walk with a key between my knuckles in case I have to defend myself. I hate that both my husband and brother-in-law have asked that I get my concealed weapons license and a handgun. I hate that women are told they need to dress a certain way to avoid being raped.

I'm tired of being blamed because I was born a woman.

I'm tired of being an object.

I am not an object.

While I haven't been the victim of sexual assault, I have been the victim of sexism. At a previous job, I had a supervisor that completely disrespected me because I was a woman. He brushed off complaints from me and the other women. When I passed out on the sales floor, the first comment he had was about me being pregnant (I was a virgin at the time) After I left the job, an employee called me a stupid bitch after his wife verbally attacked me. I was told I deserved it.

I can't count how many times I've been out and had men come up to me with their come on lines. How many have checked me out like I'm an option on the dinner menu. How many have not taken me seriously because of my gender.

I went out with my husband and one of my best friends on my last birthday for a night on the town. We went to an amazing piano bar. A good ways into the night, four men came in and almost immediately started objectifying me. They started to play a guessing game with my name and coming onto me. Right in front of my husband. I was grateful that I was with him and not my girlfriends. Not that I have too many girlfriends to begin with. My thinking was because I was with two men, then I must have been looking for a good time, right? Sickening.

Being wolf whistled at while walking across a parking lot. Having someone stare at you while you're in line at the grocery store. I've even had someone stare at me in their car while driving. All of this doesn't make me feel like a person. In today's world, I feel we are just eye candy. And if we fight back, than we're bitches and hormonal. We're angry so we must be on our periods. And it must be out fault that a man can't exercise self-control.

People make it out like it's a mental condition when a man rapes a woman.

He couldn't help it.

You shouldn't have dressed like that

What did you do to make him rape you?

You probably wanted it.

You were asking for it.

This is your fault.

Why did you let him?

I will probably be called a bitch for this entry. Personally, I don't care. If addressing a topic that most people want to sweep under the rug makes me a bitch, so be it. But I do want to clarify that I am not a man hating feminist. I don't blame men for everything. I am also aware that the reverse happens. That women rape men.

But my point is that women shouldn't be treated as objects. As toys to be played with and then thrown away.

We're people, too.

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